My dad died alone, confused and heartbroken

Jun 11th, 2020

 

My father died on March 27th, 2020 in a Nursing Home. I believe the Province of Ontario has violated the Long Term Care Home Act with regard to resident’s rights and freedom.

My father’s rights were denied to him. The Long Term Care Home is a Residents “HOME” they have the right to assembly and the right to family. We are an Italian family, and his brother and I are the only Italian speaking link he had to the outside world in this particular “Home”. We used to do everything with him including watch his favourite TV and put him to bed. He was very particular about this. His wife died two years ago and he was alone. The last time we were allowed to see him was 10 days prior to that, when the Home wouldn’t let us in anymore.

He was fine before this. He was eating, and for an Italian, as long as you have an appetite you are doing fine. We used to bring him his favourite dishes. BUT now he was cut off, he didn’t see us anymore; for ten days. They let us in on the eleventh day. An R.N. told me “I think he “went into depression from not seeing you guys”, (mainly my youngest sibling who was there every single day three to six hours, up to 40 hours a week caring for him and HELPING the Personal Service Workers)

On day ten I was told he stopped eating and within two days of this he died. He didn’t die of Covid-19. What lead to this rapid deterioration? What kind of conditions was he being left in, as that Home was constantly understaffed? He must have had strangers now taking care of him. If he was doing fine before that, what made those ten days so exceptional? They must have been gruelling, lonely, confusing and frustrating days.

He gave up! He didn’t see us anymore. He went into depression.

When I called him on the telephone, he asked, “where are you, where are you, where are my sons?” He wondered WHY we were not coming to see him anymore! We tried to arrange window visits. We tried for Face Time with him…nothing. We believe our father died of isolation, loneliness and depression. My dad was a warrior. He died alone, confused, heartbroken, and nobody should die alone when they have a family willing to be with them, and EVEN in the same city!

Alessandro P.